My list includes: Therapy, meds, startlingly expensive vitamins, good works, prayer, Jesus, running, yoga, Zumba, social activism, sleeves of Lorna Doone butter cookies, light therapy, acupuncture, eating my own placenta (so gross, I know, but I was desperate), writing, art, meditation, vegan diet, paleo diet. All of these things helped (except the paleo diet. That just made me develop an obsessive craving for forbidden sweet potatoes). But when I’m doing eighty percent of that stuff and still find myself mired in the slough of despond, it is easy to feel like I’ve tried everything. I haven’t though!

I know the feeling.

I'VE TRIED EVERYTHING

First question: have you tried therapy? You should definitely try therapy.

Second question: have you tried medication? Or tried re-mixing your meds? Perhaps you worry that antidepressants will destroy your sparkling personality. They might. They might also save your life.

Third question: Have you tried all the lifestyle stuff?

(I apologize for this question. It feeds into the oppressive wellness-industrial complex. But sometimes lifestyle stuff helps.)

If you have tried all three, congratulations! You have worked so hard! You deserve a cupcake!

Also: condolences! I am sorry that you have had to work so hard.

But take heart! You haven’t tried everything. Check out these less conventional yet promising treatments.

(Don't worry. They involve science, not aromatherapy or exorcism.)

Bipolar Bear & the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Health Insurance: a Fable for Grown Ups is a graphic novel about a bipolar bear who gets lost in the Labyrinth of Health Insurance Claims.

When Mystical Creatures Attack! is a novel about an idealistic teacher who has a nervous breakdown and corresponds with her former students from an inpatient psychiatric facility.